The best cities to visit as a gay solo traveller

In September 2024 Instagram pushed me a post by Travel Gay, a website listing “the best gay bars, nightclubs, saunas, spas, beaches, shops and more, along with interesting travel ideas and fabulous offers”. There I saw the undated post (date your articles and posts, people) ‘LGBTQ+ Solo Travel: the Best Cities to Visit?‘ by Adam Reid. Being a solo gay traveller, it caught my attention.

Now, while I’m still very much a homosexual, it has been a while since I last travelled solo. My last solo trip was Tel Aviv in 2018. Since then, I’ve travelled with Danny, Oriol, Steve, Philippe, Nicolas, Thanh, my sister Florence. In 2021 I wrote ‘SINGLES DAY | Why everyone should travel alone sometimes‘ and reading it back I feel the cringe but I stand by its content.

It’s 2024. I should do a proper solo trip again soon(ish). I feel ready.

“LGBTQ+ Solo Travel: the Best Cities to Visit?”

“Solo travel is an intimidating prospect to many of us but it’s one of the most rewarding experiences you can have. Solo travel is on the rise and it’s easy to understand why with the unmatched feelings of liberation and freedom it provides. Plus, you can make spending decisions without compromise when you’re by yourself, you’re free to be as frugal or as indulgent as you wish”, Adam Reid writes.

And yes indeed, that is very true.

“Don’t want to be dragged around yet another museum? Then don’t. Want to have a cocktail on the beach at midday before heading back for the inevitable nap? Hey, we’re not judging.”

Indeed again. Travelling solo means you do what you want. The flip side of the coin is you need to do all the research by yourself. Which can be a bit daunting.

The best cities travel to as a solo gay guy?

What Travel Gay described there, is a general truth regardless of sex, gender identity or sexual orientation. But if you stumbled on this post or Travel Gay’s post, you want to know more regarding travelling solo as a LGBTQIA+ person in general and / or as a gay or bi guy specifically.

The difference? If you added “gay” to your search, it means you’re looking for gay friendly destinations and I bet you’re looking to add some “gay fun”, i.e. gay parties and / or hook-ups, to your vacation.

Introspection

So to find the right destination as a solo gay traveller looking for fun times after sightseeing, it’s handy to do some introspection , ask yourself some questions and answer them honestly.

Do you have an Instagrammable, predictable hot physique?

We can argue for hours on what is a hot body, but we can also face facts. Certain body types are more ‘mainstreamly’ seen as hot and attractive. Gym bunnies, muscles, sixpacks, looking good in speedos.

While people with other body types, from skinny twinks to husky bears have their fans and obviously also very ‘normal’, ‘average’ and ‘age-appropriate’ physiques can and will find sex (partners), having the ‘mainstreamly popular’ body will help you. That’s the so-called pretty privilege.

If you have such a body, good for you. You will not be ignored or ghosted straight away.

If you don’t have that hot body your expected to have, avoid the big metropolises. London, New York, Paris, Rio de Janeiro, Tel Aviv? Forget it, the competition is too high. Certainly on apps, you will not stand out.

Another category of extra challenging destinations are perhaps not megacities, but mega gay places. Sitges, Maspalomas and Barcelona in Spain; Provincetown, Massachusetts and Fire Island, New York in the United States spring to mind. Too much competition.

Go for smaller communities. I have not an Instragammable body. Where did I get lucky? Taipei and Taitung in Taiwan. Seoul in South Korea. Valladolid in Yucatán in Mexico in 2022. Although in 2017 and 2014 I complied to expectation better than now. In Whistler, British Columbia, Canada the only thing preventing me to hook up were practical considerations.

But when you’re average, your chances are higher in places were being gay is more of a challenge or the fishing pond is smaller. People will less likely ignore you.

How do you fare in big crowds?

Catching attention of other people does not only rely on being handsome. Looking confident, looking open to hook-ups, looking fuckable also quite helps. Some people are ‘sex on legs’, others aren’t.

So how do you fare in big crowds? If you you’re good at it, consider going to prides and festivals. Darklands in Antwerp (Belgium), Circuit Festival in Barcelona, Whole Festival in Ferropolis in Gräfenhainichen, Saxony-Anhalt, Germany spring to mind here.

But of course these are competitive. If you don’t stand out in some way, you won’t get attention.

How are your apps skills?

This is the second decade of the 21st century so there are apps. Apps have different vibes and gives you more time to neficiate and to browse. The flip side of that coin is others will shop around too so you might not get chosen.

Look further than Grindr. Romeo, Jack’d, Recon, Sniffies or others could be more popular at your destination.

Grindr in Valladolid. We made this photo just before profile photos loaded.

Cruising

How comfortable are you at some good old cruising? From the darkroom to the bathhouse or sauna, cruising is also an option. In my modest experience, people go there to have sex obviously and more open to different body types. Then again, be open yourself.

Local cuisine

A card I like to play is being exotic. As I am not a talented flirt and I don’t have that hot summer body, I play the exoticism card. I play the “I’m Belgian” card with people wanting to add a nationality to their resumé.

And I like to try local cuisine when travelling so that matches. I’m not going for other tourists. In 2023, I got lucky in Hong Kong doing so.

So?

Before deciding where you want to try your luck, have a think of what you want. Is sex a primary reason for your trip? Are you just looking for a nice destination for as a ‘generic’ solo traveller but gay sex is a nice-to-have, not a necessity?

Who are you? What are your flirting skills? How comfortable are you exposing yourself to nudity (bathhouse), rejection (festivals, apps) and being invisible (prides, festivals, big gay communities)?

Getting answers to those questions will help you out.

Let’s have a look at what Travel Gay recommends.

Sydney, Australia

“The locals are very friendly and the well-structured transport system makes this a welcoming and easy to navigate the city. If public transport isn’t your thing then no worries, the five main tourist attractions are all within walking distance of each other.”

“The gay scene here is expansive (…) Plan for at least five days, but keep in mind that Sydney might just be the start of your Australian solo trip.”

Very true, but Sydney is one of those megacities you might miss out on the actions because you’re expected to be a hot, sporty Adonis. Melbourne has a more friendly vibe in my opinion. And then there are smaller cities with less competition.

Copenhagen, Denmark

“It’s hard to find another city that matches the chilled-out (literally and figuratively) atmosphere you’ll find in Copenhagen. You’d find it hard to have a trip of solitude here as locals will often initiate conversations, but why would you want to when everyone is so lovely? (not to mention, stunning).”

“It’s a beautiful and proudly clean city with a strong focus on cafe culture where solo diners enjoying incredible food is commonplace. Check out bar Oscar for a drink with a friendly and mixed crowd. We also have to mention that no LGBTQ+ trip to Copenhagen is complete without a visit to one of Europe’s oldest gay bars, Centralhjørnet, which opened in 1917 and boasts eccentric Christmas decor.

We recommend three days in Copenhagen as although it’s a great city the food and drink here can be fairly pricey. Enjoy a glass of Gløgg in the winter months to warm you up.”

Yes, Copenhagen is a better tip. I’ve only been there once, in 2013, but it ticks my boxes. Not a megacity, gay-friendly but not your top-of-mind gay destination.

Seville, Spain

“Seville, a hidden gem in Spain, combines rich history with a small gay scene. Within two square miles, you’ll find three World Heritage sites, 14th-century palaces, and live flamenco performances on the weekends. The best way to explore this cultural hub is by foot before diving into its gay nightlife.”

“For a relaxed evening, visit La Organica, offering a daily-changing menu cooked by a passionate chef and diverse wines. On weekends head to Men to Men to dance the night away on the first floor and use the second floor if you fancy going a little more wild or just want to watch those that do.”

This is a great place for a weekend city break and although the gay scene can seem more male-centered it’s worth noting this is a destination frequented by solo female travelers too. One added bonus of Seville is it acts as a popular base for travel to Andalusia’s other cities, easily visited by regular trains.”

Seville is far from a “hidden gem” but yes, as with Copenhagen it’s not top of mind for gay travel. So yes, I agree with this tip.

Reykjavík, Iceland

“This awe-inspiring place offers a quirky city surrounded by natural beauty on a mythical scale, ideal for those seeking solitude on their solo trip. It’s also one of the safest cities to visit, with incredibly low crime and a culture unphased by LGBTQ+ identities. Beyond the city’s charming streets, you can unwind in the waters of the Blue Lagoon, witness the northern lights, or explore nearby volcanic landscapes that add an adventurous edge to your stay.”

“Kikis is one of two gay bars in Reykjavík with the normal fare of karaoke, drag shows and friendly locals.”

No. Just no. Yes, Iceland is very queer-friendly and yes there’s that famous rainbow-painted street to Hallgrimskirkja Cathedral. But two bars do not make a gay scene. I am so sorry. See my post on the topic.

And thus?

If you want to combine a good solo-friendly destination with spicy adventures, look a bit further.

Trip By Trip

The best cities to visit as a gay solo traveller

“LGBTQ+ Solo Travel: the Best Cities to Visit?”